It's really happening...

I can't believe the last time I blogged was just after our trip to Paris. That was in February and so much has happened since then. One month later, on 30th March 2016, Dan took me to a beach, just me and him, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It was so lovely. The only other souls on the beach were kids having horse riding lessons on the shore. The sun was just about to set and we were snuggled on top of a sand dune. It wasn't the original plan apparently but it was perfect. Yes, it would have been nice if I didn't look like I'd been walking through Tollymore Forest Park in the rain all day but that's what official engagement photos are for! The real "we just got engaged" photo's are not cute.

I always thought that everything would change after you get engaged. With a wedding and a life to start planning, how could it not? But it didn't. We went away for a few days to County Sligo to celebrate on our own and after that we went back to work and continued as normal. There were lots of well wishers, generous gifts and a big party but day to day life didn't change. The truth is, that we had already started planning our lives together long before there was a ring. We had emotionally made that commitment months before and there is something very comforting in that.

As for planning a wedding...it hasn't taken up much time or effort so far. We were lucky enough to love the first venue we looked at and quickly set a date. Right by the lake lands of Country Fermanagh, big enough for all our nearest and dearest and freedom to make the day and the venue just what we want. Now we're just taking the time to decide what it is we want. As if that's not exciting enough, the builder is starting to build our first home next month and we get to start thinking of our honeymoon and making it the holiday of a lifetime (consider island hopping in Hawaii...).

I love being engaged. Every so often I have to stop myself and take a moment to smile at everything that has happened and is happening. Because day to day life continues as normal and it is too easy to get wrapped up in little niggly annoyances or feel anxious about the cost of it all or the pressure to look amazing on the big day. Even when there's over a year to go.

When I read my journal from the past few years, since settling down and starting to teach; I often wrote about finding a partner, buying a home and starting a family but it seemed out of reach and out of my control. I didn't like to admit how much I thought about it because I didn't want people to think I was unhappy with my life. I needed to be single in my mid twenties so that I could figure out who I wanted to be, what made me happy and what I really wanted from life. And it was important that I figured out the answers to all of those questions without being influenced by somebody else. I love easily, and when it's the right person, it's the happiest feeling in the world. When it wasn't the right person, it was absolutely heart breaking. In my twenties I learned to guard my heart, and then somebody showed up and slowly took it down. I would not change a thing about it. I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any sooner or any later in any other way.

And even though there were times I thought it may never happen for me, Dan and I are now planning our wedding, our travels, our home and our lives together. We still can't decide what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch on a Friday night but we can live with that! Because we can decide, wholeheartedly, on who we want to eat with and watch movies with.