Today, I started looking into student loans for next year. The excitement and relief I enjoyed just 2 weeks ago that came from getting the elusive offer I had waited for definitely wore off as I watched 32 pages spit out of my printer. And every single page may as well been written in Swedish for all I understood.

And then I see out the corner of my eye that the deadline is just one week away. (I have excellent peripheral vision.) My last shred of enthusiasm gone gone dead. Lets consider, for just a second, a career at Tesco's checkouts. Wouldn't be so bad, would it?

My head is absolutely spinning. With pound signs and sad faces and words like 'maintenance' and 'tuition fees' and 'grants' and 'not eligible'. Not eligible? Seriously? I have spent most of my 3 years post education VOLUNTEERING. Not eligible? Seriously?

I have no idea what I'm entitled to and no idea what sections to fill out on which forms. The internet is a curse, different websites telling me different things. I really would be okay with being clueless if I could just be a little more sure that I will be able to afford my rent and car next year.

I really do hope so. The adviser that gets to speak to me on the phone tomorrow is going to wish they stayed in bed!