September knocks me for six every year. My summer wasn't what I hoped it would be. I'm used to traveling and taking it easy, but this year was different. So when I got a call from a local community college offering me regular work, it was a relief. I was struggling to settle back into Lisburn but if I was working and furthering my career, surely it would be worth it right? Maybe. Unfortunately it's only a few days a week at most, but I would rather be in the classroom one day a week than anywhere else for five. And I'll share this with you for nothing, the first day you walk into work, no longer a student or a volunteer, knowing that it's the culmination of your entire education, is one of the most surreal experiences. And yeah, it's empowering and really cool, but you still feel like a kid playing dress up. I am a kid playing dress up!

Yup, September's hit me like a train. I get up in the morning, not always at a respectable time, and I try to look good, be professional when I need to be and charming the rest of the time but from the inside looking out, it looks like a mess. Things that should be black and white look grey. People that have been in my past are missing from my today. Some things seem uncertain and others feel unresolved, but it's not within my control to fix it. Not today and probably not tomorrow. But maybe the day after. And when I come up with a coping mechanism that doesn't involve excessive drinking, petty crime or watching romantic comedies all day, I'll let you know.